Early this morning...

I tried to set the mood of tackling the week by playing the Air Force One Movie Theme (amongst other classical inspirational music) loudly from Glenn's ihome. The kids didn't get the metaphor and swiftly mocked my intentions by pretending to run in slow motion. (picture a tongue in cheek parody "a la chariots of fire") Some day they'll get deep like me.

My MOM mini session day for April 10th is completely booked up. I am considering adding another day so please email me if you are considering a mini session.

Life is, whether we like it or not, moving forward. And we are learning our new normal. This blog has served its purpose of communicating to so many during the tough times- and given us a platform for us to collectively celebrate during the good times. Please accept my sincere gratitude for each click on this site. I will not be writing as often- I am trying to focus on creating a pathway toward the next chapter. When I write here, it feels a bit melancholy- as if I am still trying to find hope that he will survive this. So, it's not the best emotional fit for me. This blog focused on that hope- and I'm having a hard time transitioning from that position to where I must go. It can be done. Just moving slowly.

I'll end with a quote from my favorite company of all time-- Compendium, Inc. (you must go check out their website if you want/need inspiration)

"Someday all you’ll have to light the way will be a single ray of hope—and that will be enough."
Kobi Yamada

Mothers and Children

Saw this video and thought about it for 3 days. LOVE the images. Inspired by the words. And, instead of just imagining what I could do with all of the feelings it stirred up and creative energy I have swirling, I decided to use it as a springboard and open up one day of mini sessions in April.

In honor of Mother's day 2010 I would like to photograph children and their mothers. Any age. Boy or Girl. 1 month to 99 years. Together. Just being you. Celebrating your relationship. Simply. Beautifully.

Sessions will take place at my home in West Chester, PA. (no travel sessions available at this time) Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT start stressing about how you look and about why you don't want your picture taken. YOU are so. beyond. that.

Here is another video on the topic that a friend shared with me recently. Get out the tissues.




I am SO looking forward to this day. Additional information regarding the sessions can be found at my website (www.amygleason.com) under the mini session tab. You can contact me at amy@amygleason.com using MOMS as the type of session and for time slots available. Give this gift to yourself if you are a mom. Give this gift to your Mom if you are lucky enough to have a local mom. Or here's an idea- give it to your wife for Mother's Day. (images will be delivered before Mother's Day 2010) Promise we'll have fun and create some beautiful images.

enjoy the moments-- treasure those you love-

Amy

I know it's been a while since

I posted. And I'm okay. Some days are ...well...okay. And some days...not so much. Occasionally I get a feeling as if I have stepped into a 5 mile deep hole. And I'm still falling. And sometimes I just miss him. Plain old miss him. His laugh. His attitude and advice. His love and perserverence. Can't imagine that he is not "somewhere" and if he is- how can I tap into that? I went through these same feelings after Skyler died- and spent many months chasing that thought. This time, I am just trying to slow down. Slow down and continue to love and be loved. And to be grateful for the 20 years that we had together. I am so very grateful for having shared my life with him.

My message to all of you right now is this. Please. Please. Please take time to treasure those you love. Try so very hard to concentrate on and celebrate the ways in which he/she makes this world a better place. Not because you might lose them tomorrow. Because you might not. Either way are sharing this sweet life and together becoming something beautiful (or something not so beautiful). The choice is yours.

I have been spinning in circles in my mind about my work. And where to house my business. And when to start back and in what capacity. I was able to do a newborn session last week and loved it. Beyond. Considering starting back with newborn work exclusively but not sure exactly whether to build a studio here (convert garage- not ideal) or rent some space. (not ideal either just yet) Can't seem to make a commitment to either but would love to move forward. Glenn and I spent last year making preparations to build a studio (on our property) and though he wanted me to continue with it- I just can't seem to move forward without him.

But then again I think of the words to the Jack Johnson song. "Who's to say what's impossible? Well they forgot, this world keeps spinning and with each new day, I can feel the change in everything."

Love that line. Who's to say what's impossible? I'm trying hard to move beyond fears and imagine. our future (still a bright one). without him.

Marinating in this quote today.

"I've learned to keep things simple. Look at your choices, pick the best one, then go to work with all your heart." Pat Riley


And thank you to the mystery hot wing kit sender that was at the PO Box for the Team Gleason Pay it Forward Fund (Great Guy Group) this morning. What a surprise!

Back from Texas

and my head is still spinning. The funeral was a fitting celebration for Mike's life with all of the people and things that he loved. It was really unusual to be at Glenn's father's funeral without Glenn- I kept looking around to be with him. To talk with him. To put my arms around him. To lean into him. To acknowledge his loss. Each time my head went side to side for an instant forgetting he is not here and then a strange familiar emptiness all within a few seconds time. Spending time with Glenn's cousins was healing. Many of them with a similar quit wit and exuberance. We stayed with old friends and felt our families mesh in a way that only time spent together can bring...that was really nice. Left at 4am for our flight and arrived home at 4 pm... overtired but well loved with friends to pick us up at the airport, arriving home to warm soup and bread with extra hands to throw in the laundry.

Plugging along. Still amidst contractors and house rebuild and begging for that to be complete, but still finding the beauty in family and friendships.

As I received letters of condolences I put aside some to share here. This is one from a young resident (fellow) that we met several times throughout our 2 year stint at Penn. She is also married to a doctor who we had met through his rotations as well. Reading letters like this helps me heal. (handwritten in which I am sure is the neatest handwriting I have ever seen...like a beautiful font)

"Dear Amy,
Jeremy and I have been thinking about you and Glenn a lot lately. When Jeremy met Glenn his 1st year of fellowhsip he told me that Glenn was exactly the reason he thought he shouldn't be a leukemia doctor. Great guy, great family, terrible disease. Just too painful. Well, I am a true leukemia doctor now, and Glenn is exactly the reason. Great guy, great family, terrible. disease.

We were both so struck with him. He seemed to have a wisdom and kindness beyond his years- he was an inspiring kind of guy. I've been following along on Team Gleason, taking your advice to enjoy every moment with my family, but also keeping you and Glenn in my mind when I see patients with new diagnoses of leukemia. Trying to share the lovely spirit you created- trying to get people to stay grounded even when the ground is shifting and cracking, remembering the whole complexity of life that exists outside a medical office.

I'm so sorry for your loss Amy. And for the kids, and the other patients with leukemia and for all the people Glenn didn't get to personally inspire. But I feel lucky to have known him, and I'm glad to carry a piece of him in my heart every time I meet someone just at the leukemia starting line. He really is inspirational.

Love,
Rachel and Jeremy"

See? Just typing that out made me feel so much better. As Team Gleason evolved..we came up with the tagline BELIEVE. ACHIEVE. INSPIRE. and through these letters and kind words I am learning that even though he is no longer on this earth...our mission continues.

enjoy the moments of this day-

Amy

I'm again sorry

to share some tragic news. Yesterday, Glenn's father, H. Michael Gleason passed away unexpectedly at his home in Texas. We are still amidst the sense of disreality of losing Glenn- and this has pulled us deeper into that space of shock.

I did have a vision in my head last night- one where father and son gave each other a big giant long awaited bear hug... with giant smiles from shock and laughter. It is a strong vision and it has helped me cope the past few hours. Please keep Kelley and Jean and the rest of the family in your thoughts and prayers this week as we all come together again to get through this time.

much love-

Amy

*

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." -Albert Schweitzer

thank you. so many of you. for the little things. for being there. and even for giving me space. happy 2010. bring it on.

Amy