I posted. And I'm okay. Some days are ...well...okay. And some days...not so much. Occasionally I get a feeling as if I have stepped into a 5 mile deep hole. And I'm still falling. And sometimes I just miss him. Plain old miss him. His laugh. His attitude and advice. His love and perserverence. Can't imagine that he is not "somewhere" and if he is- how can I tap into that? I went through these same feelings after Skyler died- and spent many months chasing that thought. This time, I am just trying to slow down. Slow down and continue to love and be loved. And to be grateful for the 20 years that we had together. I am so very grateful for having shared my life with him.
My message to all of you right now is this. Please. Please. Please take time to treasure those you love. Try so very hard to concentrate on and celebrate the ways in which he/she makes this world a better place. Not because you might lose them tomorrow. Because you might not. Either way are sharing this sweet life and together becoming something beautiful (or something not so beautiful). The choice is yours.
I have been spinning in circles in my mind about my work. And where to house my business. And when to start back and in what capacity. I was able to do a newborn session last week and loved it. Beyond. Considering starting back with newborn work exclusively but not sure exactly whether to build a studio here (convert garage- not ideal) or rent some space. (not ideal either just yet) Can't seem to make a commitment to either but would love to move forward. Glenn and I spent last year making preparations to build a studio (on our property) and though he wanted me to continue with it- I just can't seem to move forward without him.
But then again I think of the words to the Jack Johnson song. "Who's to say what's impossible? Well they forgot, this world keeps spinning and with each new day, I can feel the change in everything."
Love that line. Who's to say what's impossible? I'm trying hard to move beyond fears and imagine. our future (still a bright one). without him.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
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9 comments:
I too, miss Glenn Big Time as I miss Mike. They were both such dynamnic personalities. They left such a void in our family, but hopefully this void will be filled in time ,as we are both surrounded by family and dear friends we love and love us. Our Gleason Men knew that we are strong women and will face our individual grief and journeys with hope and fortitude. Toots
Dear Amy,
Your comments are so brave and honest; thank you for taking the time to share with us. The Gleason women ARE strong, and also so delightful that you have many, many people who love you. When you feel not-so-strong, please reach out. We are here.
Love, Lynne
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox xo xo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox xoxo xoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo xo
One moment at a time, one breath at a time.
Love to you all.
God bless, Donna
Amy and Toots
You both had the good fortune to love two wonderful men who treasured their lives with you. Each of you is a talented woman who has done and is doing a great job of raising terrific children who reflect back the tremendous environment in which they were raised. Keep on keeping on and know that you all are surrounded by family and friends who love and cherish you.
bonnie mac
Amy,
Thank you again and again for your honesty. I think of you often and when I do it always reminds me to take a deep breath and not sweat all of the little stresses of everyday life. That is just one of the many ways that YOU make this world a better place.
Much love,
Kristen
Amy,
Yes thank you for sharing...I too think of you often and keep you in my thoughts and you have really made me try (some days more successfully than otheres!) to slow down and enjoy the little moments shared with Rob and the kiddos. Day by day, girl, and know you have the strength to take those baby steps.
Love,
Di Baj
Amy & Jean - I think Glenn & Mike are up there watching over their two wonderful soul mates and marveling at your tenacity and strength - keeping their love alive and strong. Always remember, you have hundreds of friends who love you and admire you both and thank you for bringing so much into our lives. Love Theresa
Your an amazing woman Amy...You can do anything you put your mind and heart too.. Stay strong and keep your heart open......It was good hearing from you...I missed your strong words that keep me going and apperciating life as i know it......
Renee
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